Now what...

Your whole life you tell your self things; things you want to do, want to eat, want to say, want to be, where to go, how to act, etc.... and no matter what you feel as though you're in control of those things. Sometimes one of those things are said out loud to other people, at times in seriousness and others as a joke.
For the past 5 years I have told everyone and anyone who would ask I plan on never getting married and living alone....completely as an act of humor to cover the fact that I am slightly pathetic and really want the complete opposite of that. Now, just days after my 26th birthday the sad reality is, that is my future. For the past two years I have tried to change it with the result being two catastrophic failures. Now as I look forward I see no future like I desire.
Unfortunately the once entertaining joke has and seemingly will become my inevitable future.
Hooray for crushed dreams and a depressing look to the years that are to come!!