A look back. . .

First of all I have to apologize to anyone that reads this blog cause it's not as fancy or look as good as some others ones. Seriously though I was looking at some people's and dang they are crazy cool. Cool headlines and pictures and backgrounds they're pretty intense. But mine works for me and apparently you too. Any who....
So this past year has bee crazy, it has had some great ups and extremely depressing lows. I know that a lot of you either saw these things or were part of them or just heard about them but still I think it's time to take a look at the big things that happened this year. (or somethings I think are big and important)
I started the year engaged and very stressed about it, if you are someone close to me that I talked to during the last 2 weeks of last year and the first week of this year you will know what I am talking about. I was working for Pepsi and hating it and also as usual, living at home. Then on January 4th (I think) everything changed for the whole year. Berlin and I found out that she was pregnant so we had a rough couple of days but decided to get married on a moved up day as to get both her and the new baby on my health insurance, January 29th. Well as is clear, a few days before on January 25th I called off the wedding. I still was not happy and could not handle it anymore. I didn't want to get married only to be miserable and have my marriage end less than a year later especially when there is a baby involved. So after all the invites were sent out, tuxes rented and fitted, dresses bought, catering ordered . . I ended it. It was hard and the worst day of my life but I still feel to this day it was the right decision.
Then nothing happened for a long time all I did was work and work a lot. I tried out for a local semi-pro football team and made it but had to quit because of work but until March I did nothing. In March I lost my job with Pepsi and had to sell my motorcycle to meet all my other bills. That was a very sad day for me. In April I got a new job at Oh My Crafts! packaging craft supplies for an online craft store . . . work is work don't make fun. Then in May I was able to get on back at the Oil Change, but by this time I had decided to go back to school but found out that I had to go back to Snow to raise my GPA, so I started to get ready. And also I got my concealed weapons permit! Then June started.
June through the first part of August was AMAZING and can be summed up in one word, one name, Lyric. For two months we had the best summer ever, a soccer game, a baseball game, a rain and lightning storm, 4-wheeling, motorcycle rides, game nights with family, cooked dinners, late night talks, . . . just everything good. It was so much fun, what dating should be. It was a summer we both needed. I loved it so much because from day 1 she knew of my situation and was very understanding and amazing about it. The only downside, I was leaving. On August 9th I left for school to start the RA training. I was asked to be an RA in student housing. How do you say no to free housing for the year?
By the end of August the only things I had going for me is that I was living and going to school for free and I had Lyric. I had no job and no way to pay for my food or truck or phone or any other bills. I was hitting the bottom I had no where to go no where to turn, then out of no where I was told of a job my last option, American Car Care. One of the other RA's, Magnum, had just quit and told me to take the job, I applied and well . . obviously I got it. With that we start September.
The only and greatest big thing of September is Olivia. She was born in September and that trumps anything else that may have happened that month. October . . . well how about taking Lyric to Homecoming on my 25th birthday. That was pretty cool, it was a great birthday. And at the very end of the month I finally after years and years, I got my temple recommend back. that was a very good day! We can just skip November that month was a waste. December...actually that one has been too. The only thing that has really happened in December is I got screwed and moved into another building. So there you are, my year in a long post that I'm thinking not a lot of people will read all the way through. If you did congrats.

"Ray if some one asks you if you're a god you say YES!"

Tiger Army never dies

I have been stuck on Tiger Army for the past couple of days, I can't stop listening to them. It's weird. I love them but two albums over and over is a little much, I wish I had more of their albums but I am too poor to buy them. But it brings me to my idea for this post, I want to be playing music so badly. I know of a few people here that I could play with but they always seem to be busy with other things. Yes Tyler I am talking about your roommates. I really think it would be awesome to have some new people to write new music with.
I was happy to wake up this morning and see that winter had finally arrived here this year, though I am giving the couple of inches of snow we got about 3 days then I am betting it will be gone and we will have 50 degree weather . . . again. Seriously I am ready for winter to just show up and stay. I don't really care how much everyone else complains about how lame the snow is, I love it and it makes me happy so I want more of it.
So a couple of weeks ago I got a couple more pictures of Olivia and there is one I really like so I'm going to put it up here but I think it's going to be the last one I do post here.

"You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not."

New place

So I moved over to my new building today, from Castilleja Hall to Mary Neilson Hall. All I can really say about this is . . I am not excited about this at all. I liked my other building, I liked most the people in it. And moving just plain sucks, eventhough I only went about 25 yards it still sucked. Then to top it off when I get here my apartment is, what feels like half the size with just as many people in it. LAME! But oh well if I'm living for free I guess I can't say too much. But seriously one last thing, when I was going to put my food in the fridge I moved some stuff around to make room and what did I pull out, a pot full of mac and cheese that looks like it has been in there for about 3 months. There is about an inch of mold on all of it and in some spots it has actually began to turn red. It's really disgusting. I serious if this is what I have to look forward to I'm going to flip.
To those of you who have been trying to get a hold of me and try and talk to me and have but gotten a short seemingly unhappy response....well I am going to apologize, sorry. I have been so busy and stressed all I ever want to do is sleep now. So in all honesty, thank you for calling and texting to see how I am doing, I am fine. I am very busy and tired. All I want to do is sleep and sit in my room alone and relax. Please don't be offended by my shortness or lack of answers I just would rather sit quietly than anything. Especially tonight after unpacking and setting up my new room.
Finally this semester is over. I feel like I did pretty good, I'm pretty sure I passed my two classes and did so in a grand manner. When I get my grades I will be sure to post them here for all to see and mock me at how well I actually didn't do. Now I get a couple weeks to wait until I start my new classes, History of Rock and Roll and U.S. History after 1877. I'm pretty sure that's going to be an easy semester.
Well I am sorry this post has taken so long to write but I will try to be more active with putting things up here. Until next time . . . peace.

"Bears, beets, battlestar galactica."

Random

Quick post, so I took a nap today and when I rolled over to get up my eye felt funny so I go to the mirror and this is what I see....
To be honest I have no idea what has happened, it's like a swollen black eye with a blister, I have no clue what happened. I probably got hit by one of my residents and didn't even know it

Bored

I have been working on homework all week end long and to honest I am going no where. The more I do it seems like the more I have to do, example... I am doing a lot reading and short assignments for my human development and I figure that I'm getting somewhere and I should be catching up, then I look at the list of stuff to do and I see things I swear were never on that list before, that or I just looked over them because they are big projects. So it seems as though I am in a never ending cycle of homework that will never end, I just need thanksgiving break to come so I can spend the whole 4 day weekend away from school and work to just sit and do homework and get it all done so I don't have to deal with it anymore.
On to a better subject, as I sit here working on my computer I have my blinds open so that I can see it snowing, yes it's snowing. I know we aren't getting hit as hard as some areas up north but still it's really the first big snow storm of the year .... wait .... okay it just stopped, but it should be starting again soon, I hope.
Weirdest thing ever, so I was having a rough night last night, I was way frustrated with my allergies, yeah gay I still have them and it pisses me off to no end, I couldn't breath again and I have nothing to help it. I in my anger and frustration I went to Maverik and bought some Nyquil and figured if I can't fix it I will just go to sleep and hope that fixes it. Which I did, I passed out so fast but when I woke up, my eye was swollen, like I had been hit in the face. It's weird, it's not bruised really at all and except for one spot it's not tender. It is so weird and I have been trying to get it to go away all day long but still even 9 hours since I got up I still look like Rocky from the end of each of his movies, all messed up face. I have no way of explaining how that happened.

Thanks buddy.

So last night Jared and I went to probably the best concert I've been to in a long long time. Bad Religion and The Bouncing Souls. It was way nice to get back to a good punk show. It was something I really needed, a chance to get away from all the crap and stress of school and my jobs. Thanks for the concert Jared.
Also when I went up I went over and saw Jared and Randilyn's new house that they just closed on. Seeing that really makes me want to get out of school and on with my life, I'm so tired of living in crappy housing and going really nowhere in life. It would be nice to have more stability in my life than what I have had in the past few years. Hopefully things will starting heading in that direction . . . that would be nice.

REALLY!?!

So I have been having a really rough past few days, almost week. So to try to make my self feel a little better I thought I'd do a little service for a few people in my building, it's true, you always feel better about doing something for someone else even if they don't ask for it. So I made a few kids dinner. I figure that I could do that for all the residents in my building cause I figure none of them really very well at all, at least a good home cooked meal. So I made this really good chicken and rice dish that's way easy and had 3 people from the building come over to eat and to talk. I also decided it's an actual good way to get to know the residents a bit better. So we were talking and things were going really well as we ate, but the instant everyone was done I could tell they were very uncomfortable and wanted to leave so I told them that they didn't HAVE to stay just to humor, only if they really wanted to. BAM!! Right there they got up, one girl put everyone's plates in the sink then they were gone. Am I really that awkward to be around, or do they really not want to talk to me at all? I mean honestly, if they didn't then please don't come and eat. I want to actually know some of these kids not just get mad at them at random times and that's all they know of me. Seriously, it was a little frustrating/depressing.
I thought that at least doing something nice would make me feel better after this past week, but it really didn't. In all reality I actually feel worse than I did before. I think it's now more a realization that I may have messed more things up in my life that I didn't mean to. Somethings I wish I could redo, I'm sorry.
I know almost everyone who reads that will be a little lost but so ........ sorry about that.
On the slightly up side, it snowed today, all day here; and it still is snowing and supposed to all day tomorrow too. It's really been great. I love the snow and am excited for it to be here again, I don't really care if it lasts till May, gotta love Utah for that.