Today...

For the past couple of days I have been very mad about moving. Mad that I left, mad about where I live, mad about the job I took compared to the job I had, and even mad at stupid stuff like the traffic I was sitting in after work yesterday. But today, today was different. Nothing spectacular happened, in fact this morning I woke up to find out someone in China had cloned my debit card number and stole $160 from me; but still all day I was just .... happy. Even when the powder coat stripping liquid got on my forehead and left a big burn blister, I just laughed.
I finally feel content and happy with what I am doing. I'm not sure what it is but I am doing something. I am trying to make my life better and give myself better opportunities to have a better life. So I apologize to anyone who may have gotten caught up in the path of my angry rants and raves the past couple days. I am sorry. But to some of those same people, thank you for what you have given and provided me with so that I could have this chance.
So cross your fingers and hope that I succeed, cause I know I am.

"It looks like an aeroplane,....with out wings!"

Why I moved

Ya know I was asked by multiple people over the past couple of days why exactly I was moving from Ephraim to Spanish Fork. My answer though it sounded like a good one, was a lie. Every time I was asked I gave the same reasons, though they are some what true, the actual reasons are a bit different.

The reason I move was because of guilt, yes guilt. Guilt from all those people who “know” whats best for me. From those people that “know” I was unhappy in Ephraim. Guess what... I wasn't. I liked it there.

Lets start from the top, the job. Though I know the opportunities seem great and the money is better I didn't really even want to interview for this new job. I felt bad that Rob had gone out of my way to tell me about the opening and set something up for me that I kindly agreed to interview. As I prepped for the interview I told my self that I would not take the job on the spot and that I would think about it before accepting anything. Well....we all know what happened next. They offered and with 5 sets of would be employer's eyes staring at me I begrudgingly took the job. And yes after thinking about it and overhearing conversations at the shop it ended up being what's best for the shop, as in letting them save a little bit of money by not having to pay me; I never had any intentions of leaving them for a few years. Joke was now on me.

NEXT comes all the extra people that know whats best for me. For the past two years I have been told that I would be much happier if I moved back to Utah Valley, that things would get better in my life, that I would have better opportunities for work, school and social life. Who's to say I didn't already have the opportunities I wanted down in Ephraim? How could anyone think that what I had down there wasn't exactly what I wanted? Did anyone even bother to ask?.....NO.

You know for the past few years I have put up with everyone's suggestions and not so subtle hints of why I should move back to Utah Valley, and for the most part I just shrugged them off and didn't really care. But look at me now, all the endless nagging and prodding and bugging finally got to me and I made decisions that I now 100% regret. I quit a job that, though I wasn't going anywhere fast, I loved. I had a house that I was living in, granted with 4 other college students but guess what?! It had heat, AND hot water. What a novel idea. I lived in a place that was quiet and calm and I didn't have to deal with traffic or road construction. I knew people everywhere I went. I felt like I could be who I wanted to be, not what everyone else thought I should be.

So go ahead pat each other on the back, congratulate one another on a job well done. You have made me hate my life a little more. You have made me feel like no matter what I have done in the past few years I got to roll it up and throw it in the trash. I am back to the start. Back where I started and frankly I hate it.

I wish I had never moved. I wish I could go back 2 ½ weeks and restart. I know I wasn't going to be rich and powerful in Ephraim but I didn't care. I was fine with that. I was happy. And now.......now I am not.

Thank you, thank you all so much.