Its over

This is the last post I will do. Blogs are of no more relevance. Especially mine. There is no need for it to occupy the space of your screen. If you were ever a reader of this, thank you and I am sorry for the mind numbing boring droll which I proceeded to publish.
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Waiting to be homeless

Last week I was informed that the house I am living in is selling, which is great news for Kevin, not for me though. I will admit the past couple months I have not been planning (saving is another way to put it) on the house selling for a bit, so in turn I am kind of in a situation. While I do still have 3 weeks to find a place and save, that still will not give me enough time to save enough.
After 2 budget rewrites and cutting back on everything. I still cannot afford anything really. I have found 3 apartments so far that fall with in my budget range that are not student housing and are relatively close to work, and out of the three so far one has been filled, one is no longer listed so that I may contact them, and the last I am hoping to go look at and apply for on Tuesday. SO with that being said, the future for my housing does not look well. In fact my plan now is to box up all of my things deposit them between a couple different places (under the stairs at my parents and in the crawl space at my brothers) and then couch hop until something in my meager budget pops up.
That being the case, I plan on sleeping on multiple couches, beds, futons, floors, and probably in my truck in the next little while. I am not complaining because that would do me no good, especially since this is partially my fault with not saving money when I needed to. So, if I happen to ask if I can use your floor or couch or maybe your shower once or twice, please be kind and say yes.


"Why does every body forget about hobo-Joe?!"

Shortish update/status

I put this here just because I know very few if any will read it. It's been a very long few weeks, no matter what I do I just can't shake this depressed mood. But I felt like just saying how grateful am for what is going right at the moment.
In a crazy time with no sense of direction and a feeling of dread at every turn I am glad that I can drive just a couple of minutes and be with my family. They help in ways they don't even know, from my Mom and or Melissa just talking with me, or Alexa, Beryle, and Ellie playing and making me forget about everything, or Cory and Tyler (and Derek) pulling me away to do something random, or the advise from Brent, it has all helped; thank you.
The fact I have a great job, even though someways I feel like I have no idea what I am doing I am glad they want me around and keep paying me. I am so happy I got it, thank you Rob.
My free house, though it may be run down, have no hot water, possibly infested with spiders, and be sold at any minute, I glad I have it and can't express that enough.
And still and for ever Vaughn, Amy, and Adi. For what they have done for me I will never forget or be able to thank them enough. That situation could not have gone any better. I will for ever be indebted to them. I love them so much.
There is much more but those are the big ones right now. Sorry to be all sappy but I couldn't sleep and have needed to say that for a while. I'm not sure how much ling I'll keep this because more and more I don't see a point to it because no body comes around. But that's a decision for later.
Night.

"All hail the hobo king."

AHHHH!!

Trying to sleep before having to go to work tonight, and can't sleep cause yet again I can't breathe, and now I have a huge tooth ache. I really wish that my work offered insurance, which I don't understand why they don't. But any who.... if anybody knows of a good company to go through that offers a good, fairly inexpensive insurance for one person, any information would be fantastic!

Getting over the rough

So this past week for some reason has been a bit rough. For some unexplained reason I have been way depressed and no matter what I have done I just can't shake it. That is until today, I woke up and went and had breakfast (French Toast!!) and did a bit of home work. After visiting my niece's and my mom, I went home and started to do some yard work. When I went to walk in my house I found sitting on my door step, a Lenny.
What you may ask is a Lenny? Well it's a ......... it's a long story, don't ask. Just look. Now I feel like I have a new friend, with that and some of the things that were said in Priesthood Session that I needed to hear, I feel a lot better that I have in a while.

Thank you to the creators and the transporters of the Lenny's! He is great!

HIMYM

I have been addicted to How I Met Your Mother for the past couple weeks, six seasons in 10 days! I love the show and all the characters.
But it kinda bums me out cause sometimes I feel like Ted and that's kinda sad........I'd rather be Barney hahahaha

I am ALIVE!!!!!

Yes I am alive, I have been absent and missing from a lot of stuff lately and that is because of the job. I now work graveyards at Fast Fill as the CNC machinist. Its a good set up and will let me get back into school full time at UVU in the fall....hopefully in the fall I will still have my job. I haven't hit my 90 day probation period at work yet and could still get let go so keep your fingers crossed that I will keep the job.
As for everything else in life, well its good!!!! I have been listening to a few podcasts at work to pass the slow hours, two of which are funny and random but for the last 3 or 4 hours I listen to old conference sessions. Listening to it most nights is good, sometimes it makes me a little sleepy but for the most part it gives me hope and direction for how to keep making my life better. It really is helpful to listen to it and work on making that aspect of my life better.
The only thing that is stressful in my life right now is my housing situation, I am really grateful for the house to live in and the fact that it is free BUT every time some one comes through the house to look at it, it makes me nervous that I won't have somewhere to live soon. SO I would prefer to live somewhere else, somewhere I don't have to worry about that. Sorry Derek. But I have yet to find somewhere so I will keep looking and maybe one day I will find something.
School is good, the graveyard shift keeps me motivated to finish school. I wasn't sure if teaching was the thing I wanted to do but while I have been up at all hours of the night I have been able to think about it and it really is what I want to do. I am excited to get back into full time school in the fall.
Well that is the quick update for now.
oh and I am now back on facebook and also, I have a twitter not really to write but to follow a couple things. But if you really want to you can follow me there @gpjorgi.
PEACE!!!

"Snooch to the nooch!"

Today...

For the past couple of days I have been very mad about moving. Mad that I left, mad about where I live, mad about the job I took compared to the job I had, and even mad at stupid stuff like the traffic I was sitting in after work yesterday. But today, today was different. Nothing spectacular happened, in fact this morning I woke up to find out someone in China had cloned my debit card number and stole $160 from me; but still all day I was just .... happy. Even when the powder coat stripping liquid got on my forehead and left a big burn blister, I just laughed.
I finally feel content and happy with what I am doing. I'm not sure what it is but I am doing something. I am trying to make my life better and give myself better opportunities to have a better life. So I apologize to anyone who may have gotten caught up in the path of my angry rants and raves the past couple days. I am sorry. But to some of those same people, thank you for what you have given and provided me with so that I could have this chance.
So cross your fingers and hope that I succeed, cause I know I am.

"It looks like an aeroplane,....with out wings!"

Why I moved

Ya know I was asked by multiple people over the past couple of days why exactly I was moving from Ephraim to Spanish Fork. My answer though it sounded like a good one, was a lie. Every time I was asked I gave the same reasons, though they are some what true, the actual reasons are a bit different.

The reason I move was because of guilt, yes guilt. Guilt from all those people who “know” whats best for me. From those people that “know” I was unhappy in Ephraim. Guess what... I wasn't. I liked it there.

Lets start from the top, the job. Though I know the opportunities seem great and the money is better I didn't really even want to interview for this new job. I felt bad that Rob had gone out of my way to tell me about the opening and set something up for me that I kindly agreed to interview. As I prepped for the interview I told my self that I would not take the job on the spot and that I would think about it before accepting anything. Well....we all know what happened next. They offered and with 5 sets of would be employer's eyes staring at me I begrudgingly took the job. And yes after thinking about it and overhearing conversations at the shop it ended up being what's best for the shop, as in letting them save a little bit of money by not having to pay me; I never had any intentions of leaving them for a few years. Joke was now on me.

NEXT comes all the extra people that know whats best for me. For the past two years I have been told that I would be much happier if I moved back to Utah Valley, that things would get better in my life, that I would have better opportunities for work, school and social life. Who's to say I didn't already have the opportunities I wanted down in Ephraim? How could anyone think that what I had down there wasn't exactly what I wanted? Did anyone even bother to ask?.....NO.

You know for the past few years I have put up with everyone's suggestions and not so subtle hints of why I should move back to Utah Valley, and for the most part I just shrugged them off and didn't really care. But look at me now, all the endless nagging and prodding and bugging finally got to me and I made decisions that I now 100% regret. I quit a job that, though I wasn't going anywhere fast, I loved. I had a house that I was living in, granted with 4 other college students but guess what?! It had heat, AND hot water. What a novel idea. I lived in a place that was quiet and calm and I didn't have to deal with traffic or road construction. I knew people everywhere I went. I felt like I could be who I wanted to be, not what everyone else thought I should be.

So go ahead pat each other on the back, congratulate one another on a job well done. You have made me hate my life a little more. You have made me feel like no matter what I have done in the past few years I got to roll it up and throw it in the trash. I am back to the start. Back where I started and frankly I hate it.

I wish I had never moved. I wish I could go back 2 ½ weeks and restart. I know I wasn't going to be rich and powerful in Ephraim but I didn't care. I was fine with that. I was happy. And now.......now I am not.

Thank you, thank you all so much.

17 years

What changes can 17 years bring?
Everything is seemingly different, the time, the faces, the places, the daily routine; but on some days it doesn't matter. Some days the feelings are the same. They may not manifest like they have in the past but they are there.
Despite what we do and what we say the past 17 years have been something no one could have predicted or planned for. The underlying tone of the past years is one we all didn't ask for, or definitely want.
With out our consent the one event has shaped our lives, changed us for ever and made us rethink what we do and why we do it. Made us realize we can never completely control our future. At times we just have to hold on tight, grit our teeth and hope the rough parts are worth it.
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Though it may not be said or even felt at times I have to say I love my family. I am grateful for everything they have done for not only me but for each other, especially in the past 17 years.
Thank you for everything.

Not very many people read anyway..

You know I have realized, ever since blogger changed their dashboard, no body really reads this blog. I don't know why I have it still or even why I write any more. But wait! I do it to vent, to blow off steam and to say things I want to say that I know nobody will read and even if they do I can ignore people's comments about it.
So with that being said, I am tired. I am sick of how life has turned out. Every time I have gotten a chance to be happy and have a better life I have thrown it away and in turn I make stupid mistakes over and over and over again. I have nothing to show for my 26 years I have been around. Well nothing to be proud of. I am sick of making the same mistakes over and over again and I want it to stop.
I need a break from EVERYTHING. I want to just leave and push everything to the side and do nothing but be happy and do what I WANT for a couple days.
And another thing, I miss her. Yeah if you know anything of the past year you will know who I am talking about. And Mom and Brent don't call and ask about it cause I don't want to talk about it. I made stupid choices and though I know she is happier than ever and I am glad for that, I am miserable. I want to just run far far away and restart life. Some where new, a place I don't know anybody. I would love that.
I am just tired and depressed with life, I want to be happy I just don't know how.