The Story II

  The sun rose over the frost covered forest as the young man stumbled into a clearing. The thick undergrowth had been tripping him up and making the past four months of hiking miserable. It didn't help either that he had been left alone for the past eight miles. The hero climbed to his feet and slowly made his way over to a small rock in the clearing. As he sat there considering the past four months and what had happened he couldn't help but feel depressed and wanted to just sleep. He knew that when he went to sleep that just meant he had to get up in the morning and start the hike again. As he sat and contemplated the past little while he thought of the hope he had and the ambition that came with it. The idea of starting a better life and moving on from a forest that seems to have no end.
  As the sun continued to come up the young traveler could see movement just within the edge of the trees. For days he had been alone with no one to speak with, the thought of another person frightened and excited him at the same time. As he tried to focus his eyes on the spot where he noticed the movement a pinprick of light flashed to his right, darting through the trees a tiny illuminated speck sped past. He could hear a ringing of a small brass bell in the distance but some how close by at the same time. The miniscule light circled him time and time again, passing in front of his eyes fast enough to make him dizzy. The ringing continued to get louder but never to the point that hurt his hears, it remained a constant pleasant sound. Finally with out warning the light popped, sounding like a fire cracker the speck of light vanished in a small shower of sparks.
  Confused and unsure what had just happened the weary man sat back down with his back against the rock and his face in the sun. The warmth felt good after a night in the cold. He began to feel like his old self again, confident, happy and hopeful. The sun seemed to recharge his spirits for his journey. Even as his mind wandered to tender subjects: lost companions, distant family, even the distant little girl he only ever heard stories of, he felt...peaceful. Then it came, the feeling, someone was watching him. He opened his eyes and with out moving his head tried to scan his surroundings. Nothing, no one was with in miles; as he lowered his head he saw her, him, it.....the little person standing on his bent knees. Scared he may scare it away, the hero dared not move. He sat in wonder of what was standing on his leg. The it spoke, or so he imagined. All he could hear was the ringing of a bell, the same ringing from before, but now as it rang his mind was forming words. "Why are you here? Where are you going? Who are you? What are you looking for?" the tiny little mouth formed words and the ringing of the bell carried their message. He answered, in a quaking voice, scared he may be losing his mind. "I am resting, and I am trying to find a way to the better land. I am just a young traveler,....." the last question eluded him, not sure how to answer. Slowly the words came "...I am looking for happiness....I guess."
  They were questions he had never thought of before, now that he had the boy was unsure of his journey. Unsure of the direction and the purpose. The small person continued "I can show you what you are missing, the one you wish to see. Your reason you keep going." as the words faded the creature popped and sparks flew and it was gone. The light came again, this time close to his head, another pop and sparks and the thing hovered, glowing bright gold in front of his face. "If I gave you the ability to see would you use it? It has the possibility to make you understand. Would you regret using it?" The magical being continued to float, seemingly with out effort looking in to his face, asking. "I'll take it." the words slid out of his mouth, unsure if that's what he really wanted. "Then it's yours." the shining person bowed deeply, popped and sparked and was gone.
  Our hero, jolted. He had been sleeping. His eyes still blurry with sleep could see only vague shapes in the small clearing, the rock poking into his back and the wetness on his legs made him realize he had been there for a while. As he came more aware of his surroundings he thought back on his dream, that creature, the questions it asked. But wasn't he awake when he first saw the light? When did he fall asleep? None of that mattered now. The young man reached for his bag to grab a small bite before setting back off down the densely covered path. In his bag his hand felt something unfamiliar. Something cold and hard. Carefully he pulled out the foreign object. Turning it over in his hands, a large flat rock had some how found it's way into his bag. He stared at it's smooth surface, no tool marks could be seen, as though it had always been this shape. There was nothing seemingly special about this stone tablet. Carefully he set it down as to not break it. Reaching back into his bag he found the small pouch containing his small morsels of food. As he took a bite of the old hard bread he studied the stone trying to find any clues as to where it came from. There was nothing, not one sign.
  After spending a few moments stressing over the rock he decided it was not worth the headache and decided to go back to relaxing and enjoying the sun shine. As he sat there his mind wandered in and out of subjects; from the warmth of the sun and the comfort of the soft grass, to the dread of having to go back into the forest down the path. The thought of the path naturally led to the great friends he had gathered as he moved down the path. As he thought of one in particular, one that referred to himself solely as The Admiral, the stone popped, the same pop he heard in his dream. His attention snapped to the tablet and there out of the stone shone a picture of The Admiral, the likeness was perfect. As he looked at it words appeared below the picture, writings that seemed to come directly from The Admiral him self. Writings that seemed to be his thoughts. The hero sat amazed at this projection from the stone. In one of the writings The Admiral makes mention of an acquaintance they had met as they walked the path. As the man thought of this acquaintance the stone popped again and just like The Admiral the acquaintance appeared, writings and all.
  The young adventurer realized quickly this stone could possibly show him anyone he thought of, and their most recent thoughts. He had to test it, he thought of his mother...pop...the stone reflected the warm happy face he had so long had seen on a daily basis. Her smile brought one to his own face. Quickly he thought of best friend from long ago at the academy...pop...the colorful young man he had known for years appeared. Looking older but still with the same familiar mischievous grin. This too made the young traveler happy. The man thought for a second, it seemed to work with anyone, what if......? No, that was the past. He didn't dare bring up something that may cause problems for him self.
  He had to....... The temptation was too great......
He turned his thoughts to the travel companion of old, the one that he had left and in turn left him.....pop.......it worked. There she was. A wave of fear, happiness and sadness rushed through him.

"I told you I could show you."

School? What?!

Lately I have been feeling like I shouldn't be in school, maybe not shouldn't be but more of I should change the school I am in and the field I am going in to. I have been really doubting if that's the profession I want. I still think teaching would be great but I am not sure. I don't know what else I would want to do though. I most definately don't want to be sitting on this stool at American Car Care for the next 40 years....that would suck!
I don't know where this feeling came from; though I do feel it does have something to do with the fact that I am just generally not happy in life. I don't find joy ni the same things anymore. I don't know what happened. Yes I have been taking my medication like I should but there is just a feeling that nothing is right.
 I HATE IT!
THere really isn't anything of any importance going on right now though. At least nothing worth noting, because i'm pretty sure you don't want to hear about the 5-7 page paper I have to write about the differences between two novels about the Native American's struggle for respect in the American culture. Wow I am even bored by writing that sentence.

"I am Jack's colon, I get cancer and kill Jack."

I dont think I've ever done this post..

The past year and two months have been a bit interesting...to say the least. And for those of you who don't really know what I am talking about, it's about Olivia. I don't think I have ever posted anything really about her let alone pictures. I told my self that after her first birthday I would make ONE post about her with pictures from the year and that would be the only and last post I do about her just because as much as I have issues about it, I don't want to really think about it or have people asking me about it. Just because it's my past and it's not what's important in my life. So here is a few pictures from the past year of Olivia as she has grown.

 That's all I really feel like putting on and I hope you enjoyed them. I have a lot more but those are for me and not for you. She is getting huge and is loving life. Their little family is so happy and it makes me happy to know that.

Tired...

It's been a while since I last posted, I don't really have a lot or anything at all to say really...other than I am tired. For the past few weeks it doesn't matter what I do I am always just worn out. I wish I could take one full day off from everything and just sleep and try and catch up...if only.....

"Up in my lonely room, when I'm dreaming of you, oh what can I do? I still need you but I don't want you now."  ~The Coral~

Now what...

Your whole life you tell your self things; things you want to do, want to eat, want to say, want to be, where to go, how to act, etc.... and no matter what you feel as though you're in control of those things. Sometimes one of those things are said out loud to other people, at times in seriousness and others as a joke.
For the past 5 years I have told everyone and anyone who would ask I plan on never getting married and living alone....completely as an act of humor to cover the fact that I am slightly pathetic and really want the complete opposite of that. Now, just days after my 26th birthday the sad reality is, that is my future. For the past two years I have tried to change it with the result being two catastrophic failures. Now as I look forward I see no future like I desire.
Unfortunately the once entertaining joke has and seemingly will become my inevitable future.
Hooray for crushed dreams and a depressing look to the years that are to come!!

Wants and wishes

First of all, FINALLY!!! Football is back! I love it, it's so nice.
Back to the post, have you ever wanted something so bad and you feel like you are so close to getting but you know that nothing will come of it.
There are some things, two mainly, that I would really love to have right now.
I know that being patient will help and that I will eventually get there but I feel like I have been patient for a long time and am ready to stop waiting.
I finally got my Associate Degree in the mail and it's really nice to have at least one degree.
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Now back to waiting and trying.....maybe.....just maybe it will work.

Golfing...and thinking

I am sitting here on the 8/17th hole here at Skyline Mountain and just reflecting on things. Yes this would be a somewhat thoughtful post, sorry to be boring like that. School has started which means more stress than usual. I am excited to be starting my next level of schooling but also scared because of how hard it will be. Yet once its over, hopefully sooner than later, I will be glad its done. Work has gotten boring and overly stressful. I feel like I have 6000 things to do and have no help cause the owner is hurt and the manager seems to be milking out his back surgery as long as possible and only works for 4 hours a day. I took an extra day this weekend in hopes that it will get me back to where I used to be with my job, happy to be there.
I still love the house I moved into, well minus all the bugs but I am trying to fix that. I haven't really met my roommates but that's nothing new. I do that every year.
About golf...... I have learned to like golf more than ever, it has become my little vacation every week. Even getting up at quarter to six on Saturdays to make my tee time doesn't bother me. I love it. I have even begun to dress for it. Nice pants, collared shirts, clean shoes. Its become alot of fun. Especially since I am slowly getting better.
The social aspect if my life right now......Hahaha! Please I am almost ready to resort to eharmony or nothing at all ;-) but we'll see, maybe I won't. I just wish I was better at dating, I am not good at it and it makes my shy away from it. Oh well.
I am excited today because I finally got my diploma from Snow College. I am lyrical graduate. Its awesome!!
I hope you have enjoyed my thoughts for the day....till next time...
T.T.F.N.

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